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Writer's pictureChristie Wallace

I Wish I Had




How many times have you said to yourself, “I wish I had”? I wish I had thought of this sooner. I wish I had left that job sooner. I wish I had left that relationship sooner. I wish I began my healing journey sooner. I wish I had gotten my health back faster. I wish I had realized before it was too late. I wish I had never done this. I wish I had never met that person. I wish I had never experienced that. I wish I had met them sooner. You get the point.



Our whole lives are a succession of “I wish I had or I wish I hadn’t”. Here’s the golden truth. There is no right or wrong way. You are always in Divine, perfect timing. Even if that Divine perfect timing feels like suffering, pain, confusion, loss, or whatever you are experiencing right now, it is a perfect part of your learning journey.



I have been saying for a long time that I wish I hadn’t wasted those 28 years of my life. I wish I had known sooner that I have muscular dystrophy. The truth is, if I hadn’t have had that 28 year relationship, I wouldn’t know what I didn’t want. I wouldn’t have discovered how strong I could be. I wouldn’t have been able to recognize unconditional love without it!



As for the muscular dystrophy, if I had known sooner, I would have given up sooner! I am so grateful for this disease because it has led me to internal strengths that I couldn’t have ever imagined. It has led me to an ultimate discovery and journey of healing. So many people I have met, and so many lives that I have been blessed to touch. What a gift!



I have always known since I was “diagnosed” that it was my journey to figure out how to heal so that I could then help others to heal. That is a fact for every instance of my life.



I had to have a disconnection with both my parents, 1. To learn how to be a better parent, and 2. To help others heal from their disconnection with their parents.



I had to experience abuse as a child to help others learn how to heal from that abuse.



I had to experience a toxic relationship and abuse to help others learn how to heal from that as well. To learn how to recognize my strength and to help others find theirs.



I had to lose bodily functions to learn how to rely on my intuition, to expand and grow spiritually, to grow and make the connections necessary to help the planet heal as a whole through each individual that I cross paths with.



I used to emotionally break down and ask “Why me?! Why God, what did I do to deserve this?!” The truth is, why not me? I chose this. Can you believe that? I chose all of this to remember who I am. To remember where I came from and the abilities I hold. To remember all that I am and within each tiny moment, is a tiny piece of the puzzle that gets clearer and clearer. And now I say, Thank You. I understand my power now. I understand everything that has led up to this moment. This time and this space. I truly am grateful for everything because I know to the very core of my being that we are welcoming in a new era of healing for everyone. There are a few moments in my life of intuition so strong, it’s palpable. This is one of those times.

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